Double-plus ungood
In much less good news, our friend and fellow-troublemaker Josh Slocum had a very serious heart attack a couple of days ago. He’s fine now, he assures us, but it was Bad and Scary and Horrible, and he’s only a youngster. So send him your affection and raillery and friendly insults and other helpful things.
Tell him that I said something stupid, and invite him to say something angry, and then I’ll promise to say something earnest, and then he’ll apologize. It’s this little thing we do.
Also get well soon.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Skeptic South Africa, Ophelia Benson. Ophelia Benson said: Double-plus ungood http://dlvr.it/B4VPt […]
Get well Josh! The commenters here are wonderful in general, and you’re one of the best.
Que te mejores!
I don’t comment very often but always enjoy Josh’s posts; they are indeed among the best.
Embuggerations, and get well soon.
Count me in on all the get-well-sooning, too. Hope the thoughts from this end will help the mending process. We’re not praying for you, because Ophelia omitted threats from the list of things we ought to send you.
Oh my gosh – I’m surprised and flattered. Thank you very kindly, Ophelia and everyone! Yes, it was horrible and scary, and yes, I’m resentful that it happened at age 36, but I’m alive, and have no permanent damage. Now, it’s on to a grand culinary adventure of. . . .low cholesterol “living.” Yech:)))
So sorry to hear about this, Josh. Don’t do it again! Seriously, hope you’re on the mend very soon.
I’m very sorry you’re having a bad time, Josh. All best wishes for a full and speedy recovery.
Josh, I have slaughtered a wild boar in your honor for Sau Sing (寿星), the God of Longevity. Well, OK, I got a few barbecued pork buns (叉燒包) and left one out for him. I’m not sure if he even likes pork, but it’s the best I could do. Get well soon.
I went you one better, Hamilton. I wanted to be 100% certain of Josh’s full recovery, so I slaughtered an accomodationist.
Which one? These Chinese gods are capricious; we have to be careful not to offend them. Mooney is so unctuous he would gag Joey Chestnut, so I hope for Josh’s sake you picked someone else.
Best wishes, Josh.
Get well soon, Josh! I couldn’t think of anything to top the comments above.
I made sure not to pick anyone who didn’t think I was capable of it. The truth is that I’m not; when I approached my victim, he recognised me as a Gnu Atheist and dropped dead of fright. When I examined the body, it turned out he was a sock puppet. I’m not sure his true identity will ever be known.
If it gives Josh a healthy laugh, the sacrifice won’t have been in vain.
I’m very happy you’re OK, Josh! Now go ahead and learn to enjoy healthy food!
Thank goodness, you have come out of it, Josh; age was obviously on your side, no doubt. Crikey, though, you are so young to have experienced this kind of illness at all.
glad to hear there was no damage. Now you have years and years to actually get to like fat-free, sugar-free, taste-free, nutrition-free pap……oh what am I saying? of course, you already read CIF!
Heh Josh, really glad you made it. Low saturated fat and no cholesterol isn’t so bad. I suggest you learn to love fish and chicken and start working on your Scoville score.
(Though I really miss cheese…)
Josh, I’m sending heart-strengthening thoughts your way. Meanwhile, have you adjusted your biofield lately? Checked your ions? Detoxified the soles of your feet?
Get well soon!!
But I though gnu atheists don’t have a heart!
All the best towards a full recovery Josh.
G stands for Gnu, whose weapons of defence
Are long, sharp, curling Horns and Common-sense.
(courtesy of Hilare Belloc’s Moral Alphabet)
…and don’t forget if a doctor says “clear liquids only” that claret is a clear liquid
Oh, hey, Josh! I just came across this, and remembering all the times we have crossed our swords, and other times we’ve put our swords up in the scabbards, well, I hope you’re doing really well, and are doing what you’re told by those who know better than you about heart attacks and things like that. I don’t know what Ophelia means by ‘just a kid’, but almost everyone looks like a kid to me, so, Get better, kid!
Hey, Stewart, slaughtering an accomodationist won’t do the trick, you have to sacrifice them to the gods! And then you must burn them, so they offer a sweet savour to the Lord.
You see, I read too quickly. 36 — yeah, that’s just a kid. Turn the numbers round and then add 6, and month.
Oh, by the way, Stewart, I almost forgot. The accommodationist you sacrifice really should be a first born. Gods seem to have a preference for them, and the God of Israel has a right to them. So, no second-rate substitutes! And sacrifice, not slaughter — sacrifice is a kind of reverent murder. That means you have to build and altar. And make sure the blood is sprinkled liberally all over the altar before you light the fire.
I think I’ve read some of the same texts that contain those instructions. Josh, I hope you’re reading and will approve all that we’d like to do in your name.
Take care of yourself Josh.
Celery stalks and rice cakes—you get used to it.
Josh, Josh, Josh. Get well soon.
Someone with so much heart should be able to use some of the backup.
Get well, dear Josh and welcome to the low cal life.
Ugh! Best wishes, Josh.
Hey y’all,
I most certainly do approve of all the sacrifices you intend to make in my name! Stewart, you cracked me up with the “it turned out to be a sockpuppet” thing. That’s how I feel about my supper – I go into the kitchen after a piece of meatloaf with some biscuits, only to turn it over and find it’s a goddamn skinless chicken breast. Yikes. I’m really keen to find out how often I’ll be able to indulge in real food. I can moderate and cut way back on my previous gluttony, but I can’t face the prospect of never splurging again. It sounds petty, I know, to complain about diet after a brush with death, but it’s an emotional shock to face so MANY everyday changes all at once. Especially for a “foodie” who considers good eating one of life’s greatest pleasures.
But I am alive:)))
But skinless chicken breast can be really good!
Think acids and spices and grilling, Josh. Think marinades and lime juice and garlic.
And also: your tastes will adapt. Yes they will – don’t argue with me. They will. (Whole milk tastes disgusting to me now – just greasy and thick and horrible.) (I say “now” in relation to childhood – I switched to non-fat milk some time in Teddy Roosevelt’s administration.) So don’t project current WantWantWant into the same thing five ten twenty forty years out. You won’t. Srsly. And there just really are plenty of delicious foods and especially combinations of food that don’t depend on lard. Honest. I swear it.
But no, it doesn’t seem petty. I don’t know anyone who isn’t a foody. Food matters!
Yes ma’am!:)) That is good to know, about tastes adapting. It’s not that I don’t like marinated chicken breast and stuff – it’s part of my cooking repertoire. It’s just the . .everything. Whole grain. Tiny portions of potatoes. Mayonnaise almost never. Egads. I’ll just have to get creative – I’m already a good cook, so I’ll look at this as expanding my skills (he says, all plastic-fake-smiley). . lol!
Oh good – I’m glad you’re acquainted with marinades etc.
Just postpone mourning for the lost fatty things for awhile. Shove it into the old mental cupboard. By the time you get back to it, at least some of that stuff will have palled.
Oh and here’s a thought: don’t watch any cable food porn for awhile (unless there’s any heart-healthy food porn, which there probably is). Let your brain do its tricks, and you’ll adapt.
And think how svelte and lovely you’ll be when you chat with Mr DreamyPants! :- )
While you’re changing your tastes, you may want to consider that skinless chicken breast isn’t a health food either. I’ve been eating a diet very similar to that recommended by the following two doctors for the past 19 years (not because of a heart attack, but because I was fat and unhealthy), and I really enjoy it. I feel great and I love the food. I used to be very heavy on the meat and cheese, but at the time of the change it was like a mental switch was flipped, and I’ve never looked back.
John McDougall
Joel Fuhrman
Unpraying for your full recovery Josh; really sorry to hear about it. Salads and exercise can be ‘good’, some people tell me.
I hope that I get the tone right with this one.
Josh, not to depress or demoralise you but my brother died of a massive heart attack a few months ago. He was svelte and athletic and health conscious and only 39 but he still dropped dead in the middle of a soccer game. No second chances. It’s hard for those left behind to come to terms with the capriciousness of life.
You are still alive and that’s freakin wonderful. Celebrate that!
I am so very glad that you are on the path to recovery and wish you and your loved ones the best.
Mirax, I’m so very sorry to hear about your brother. How truly awful.
I am very, very glad to be alive, no doubt. It is, however, very difficult emotionally for me right now in ways that are hard to explain (I certainly wouldn’t have understood this until it happened to me), and I’ve been maudlin enough already. It’s time for that ambien – bless my doctor, for sleep is coming hard these past few days.
Hmm. A “very serious heart attack” usually results in death, doesn’t it? And Ophelia said it happened “a couple of days ago,” but now he’s back. Could it be that he was gone THREE days before his return?
And could it be coincidence that I never heard of Josh until a few years back — when he was around 32? Where was he before then? There’s no record!
I for one am ready to accept Josh as my Lord and Savior!
(Sincerely, I’m glad you made it and are on the mend, Josh. And remember: Any diet that still includes sushi ain’t all bad!)
Well, since we’re all sharing heartfelt personal things (sorry to hear that, too, Mirax)… I haven’t had any heart attacks, but have been on cholesterol medication since my late 30s. I just decided it was time for a routine check-up. I go for the results, and when the doctor sees them, his friendly smile is wiped from his face. I ask about future diets and when he says no more red meat, I really puzzle him when I tell him I’ve been vegetarian for about 30 years. How could I possibly get my levels so high without it? My secret was the half a loaf of grilled cheese sandwiches most days about 2 a.m. Anyway, I made up my own diet, making sure to put the few attractive things I was still allowed in the salads I had to live on and lost 20 kg in a year, 10 of them in the first four weeks. The battle still rages occasionally, though right now I seem to be on a winning streak. So what worked best for me was thinking about what I could have that gave me pleasure and sprinkling it around enough to get me through the rest. Exercise is important, too, whatever else I think about it.
Thank you mirax (and you did get the tone right) – and sympathy, again, about your brother.
Yeh Josh…I would hardly expect you to be all Jiminy Cricket at this point!