Minister, musician John Kilzer remembered for his love for other people

John Kilzer had a genuine love for other people.

That was the theme of each speaker at Kilzer’s memorial service at First United Methodist Church in Downtown Jackson on Tuesday.

Kilzer, who was a successful musician and minister in Memphis and led an addiction recovery ministry at St. John’s Methodist Church, died from suicide on March 12.

After Sky McCracken, the pastor at FUMC, opened the service and let the congregation know the event would be as light-hearted as possible, there were a few tears, but mainly smiles and laughter at some of the stories that were shared about Kilzer.

Pam Carter Betler shared the story that got probably the biggest laugh.

“We were in third grade together, and he could push the merry-go-round faster than anybody else because he was so tall and strong,” Betler said. “And he when it slowed down and stopped, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

“I slapped him because we were friends, and I didn’t think he should do that.”

Betler said she knows now that was Kilzer showing affection for a friend, but they were both too young to know that at the time.

“I got in trouble for slapping him, and John didn’t want to be the reason I got in trouble,” Betler said. “And John showed up at my house that Saturday with flowers to tell me he was sorry for getting me in trouble.

“And that was nice, but while we were talking, my mother got a phone call from a neighbor who said a boy had walked through her yard, picked her flowers, went to the back and climbed the fence into our yard.”

While Kilzer was known for his basketball prowess in high school at Jackson Central-Merry and in college at Memphis State and then later for his abilities as a musician and Methodist minister, those who knew him said he was good at two things: Reconnecting with friends he hadn’t seen in a while and directing conversations from talking about him.

“Whenever I’d see John we’d get to talking, and it may have been years since we’d seen each other but we’d pick up like it had been minutes,” said Mark Hawks, who grew up with Kilzer and was a friend from elementary school until his death. “And like how he would do on a basketball court and get around a defender, he was always good at maneuvering the conversation to talking about me and what was going on with me even though whatever was going on with him was always going to be more interesting to listen to.”

Musicians from Memphis, Nashville and Jackson were on hand to perform in his honor before McCracken spoke after reading a biblical passage. In a quote from John, a crowd of people left Jesus and Jesus asked the disciples if they were leaving too. Peter responded by asking where else would they go since Jesus has words of life.

“John knew about those words, and he knew about the God-sized hole we all have in our heart that can only be filled by Him and His grace and love,” McCracken said. “I only wish (Kilzer) he would’ve listened to those words for himself, but we know he’s experiencing the ultimate joy now in Heaven with Jesus.”

Reach Brandon Shields at bjshields@jacksonsun.com or at 731-425-9751. Follow him on Twitter @JSEditorBrandon or on Instagram at editorbrandon.