Spend five minutes in nature and you’ll see what everyone’s talking about, with the mountains and zoos and watermelons. It’s breathtaking.
And what about salmon, just swimming around, completely unfazed by how wet they’re getting? If you want to see for yourself, there are some great documentaries about how wet they get.
There’s such a breadth of animals besides just wet ones and dry ones. There are shy animals, like the hermit crab, and outgoing animals, like the gibbon, shaking you down for your KIND bar in the rain forest.
Nature has trees all over the place. Without trees we wouldn’t have many of the leaves and branches that we enjoy today. If trees didn’t produce oxygen, we’d be dead. If they didn’t produce maple syrup, we’d be dead and slumped over a stack of inedible pancakes.
Horses are by far the most majestic animal that you can lose your life savings on. There are no sure bets in nature, not even Sleeper’s Revenge.
Seahorses aren’t horses, but be careful: you can lose money on them, too.
People are curious about nature. That’s why there are so many Google searches about it, such as “Which snakes are venomous?” And “Quick remedies for throat closing.” And “Can I write out my will on a leaf?” And “How to prepare a body for an open casket after lots of snake bites.” And “Explaining to your children that a snake killed their dad.” And “Places to move where there are less snakes.”
There’s something for everyone in nature, even deserts, for people who love the beach but hate enjoying themselves, and for outlaws going after the son of a bitch who killed their daddy in cold blood for two measly gold pieces and an old pocket watch that wasn’t even tickin’.
Researchers have spent years trying to unlock the mysteries of nature, like why the plural of deer is also deer, and why sunsets are free but paying a taxidermist for one ferret cost me almost a grand. Twelve hundred with the sailor outfit.
If you’re rich, you can see nature’s higher-end stuff, which is only kept in special preserves. Or even travel to one of the natural wonders of the world, which are teeming with stunning souvenir shops.
Nature is famous for its calm and tranquillity. A good example is the beautiful silence right after a school of piranhas goes to town on a carp.
If you live in the suburbs, you likely own some nature that’s right up against your neighbor’s nature, which can create a tricky situation with that rhododendron that’s in no man’s land, the one that Mike insists on pruning like it’s his. But it’s not his. You know it and Rhododendron Mike knows it.
Nature can also be found above your head, in the form of birds, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying them, either by waiting until they come down or by making them come down, if you know what I mean.
There are so many different sides to nature. One minute you’re hunting grouse. The next minute your wealthy father-in-law turns his Winchester on you and asks if you overheard anything he said in the parlor last night. The next minute you’re playing him the audio you recorded of him discussing his “little business deal.” The next minute he’s asking how much it’ll cost him for you to destroy that and never speak of it again. The next minute you tell him you’ll have to think about a number. The next minute you’re back to hunting grouse, but, boy, is it tense.
Safaris are a great way to see a decent part of Tampa. F.Y.I., Busch Gardens no longer allows outside food—I had to wolf down three P. B. & J.’s at the gate.
The big takeaway here is that we need to do everything we can to live in harmony with nature or we can kiss those watermelons goodbye. That means listening when nature is trying to tell us something, and also cutting ourselves some slack if we can’t decipher nature’s cryptic messages amid all the intense weather and natural disasters. ♦
