What to Do If You Get Emails for the Wrong Person

Opening my email to see an invite to a fall luncheon, I rolled my eyes. Not because I’m not a fan of luncheons (quite the opposite!) but because this invitation, like so many other emails I had received, was intended for someone else.

When I snagged my email address early on in Gmail’s creation, I felt lucky to have a simple, straightforward handle. But it soon turned into a curse. There were other E Hugs out there, and their friends and family were all too quick to hit Send before double-checking the spelling in the “to” field. I was invited to purse-making classes, dentist appointments, and Shabbat dinners. I was informed of hairstylist jobs and the arrival of my orthopedic shoe inserts. Once, I was asked to proof a bat mitzvah program.

At first, I did what any kind person would do and informed the sender of their mistake. But still they came. Why were there so many emails? And why were so many from repeat offenders? If I had to sign off on Amanda’s bat mitzvah program one more time, I was going to scream.

Driven by a desperate fervor and a slight tendency for mischief, I decided to try a different tactic. Maybe it would teach them a lesson, I thought, or at least shake things up enough that they would pay attention. I was going to start responding in character.

I wrote:

Thank you so much for the invitation to your fall luncheon!

I love luncheons, especially during the fall. I can just picture the tables covered in seasonal leaves and decorative gourds! I personally love to whip up one of my famous pumpkin pies (no cheating with those store-bought pumpkin-filling cans!) and add it to the spread. Last time I brought one, the mayor's wife even asked for my recipe! I had to tell her that unfortunately it calls for condensed milk, as she has quite the dairy intolerance.

However, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to attend, as I live in Toronto, Canada, which is 8 hours and 18 minutes away, according to Google Maps. Especially since the Gardiner Expressway can become quite congested around peak traveling times.

Soon, I was crafting elaborate stories for each of my incorrect senders. When asked if I received a proxy, I responded:

Thank you very much for checking in on the status of your proxy. It's good to keep on top of these proxies, as they have the habit of getting out of hand if you do not keep close tabs on them.

I have to tell you unfortunately that I did not receive any proxies, and am now concerned that they were sent and escaped while I left my email open to put a kettle on in the kitchen. You see, I have several hot water bottles that I fill with hot water, but I do not care for the water to be boiling hot. I use them as pillows for my cats, who are more like lizards because they like to sleep on hot surfaces! Therefore, I keep the water at room temperature for 10 minutes before emptying it into my hot water bottle, so that the temperature will cool down. On a cold day, I could have as many as five cat/hot water bottle pillow combinations in my living room!

In summary, I didn't receive your proxy but I will check around my house and see if one could be hiding somewhere. It's possible they have been squashed under a cat (or hot water bottle pillow), as things are want to do. Just the other day, I found my wedding ring under there. But then again, I don't really need that anymore anyway.

I had mixed results. Some would write back saying “Thank you for the beautiful response,” while others asked, “So … did you get my proxy?” But the number of incorrect emails did dramatically improve. It wasn’t surprising that after receiving two or more of these ridiculous responses from me, people tended to confirm the address before sending their emails. But obviously, this solution isn’t for everyone.

I do think it’s right to let people know (at least the first time!) that they’ve got the wrong email address. It’s too sad to imagine someone’s orthopedic shoe inserts sitting there alone, uncollected. Of course, that doesn’t apply to spam lists someone has signed you up for, but if it’s someone’s cousin inviting you to their daughter’s baptism, it’s the kind thing to do.

One way to make your life easier is to set up canned responses in your email so you don’t have to type the same message every time. Gmail actually has a Template feature where you can quickly save your canned response.

Here’s how:

1. Click on the gear icon, then select Settings
2. Go to the Templates section on the Advanced tab
3. Select the Enable button, then Save Changes
4. Compose a new message, writing something like “Thank you for your email, but unfortunately you have the wrong email address.”
5. On the bottom row of icons in the compose window, click the three dots.
6. Choose Templates, then Save draft as template, and name it.
7. Now when you write a new email, you can click on the three dots in the compose window and select the template you’ve made.

And in Outlook:

1. Compose a new email with your canned response
2. On the File tab, choose Save As and name it.
3. Next time you compose a new message, choose the Canned Responses button and select the one you’d like to use.

That really should be enough to stop the onslaught of incorrect emails, but as I found, they still find their way. Another possibility is to set up filters in your email. This works if you tend to get messages from the same people, but it isn’t going to stop new wayward emails, so you’ll need to continue adding people to your “Not For Me” filter.

Here’s how in Gmail:

1. Click on the gear icon, then select Settings
2. In the Filters and Blocked Addresses tab, scroll down and click Create a new filter.
3. Put the person’s email you want to filter in the “From” field in the box that pops up and hit Create filter.
4. Choose the box to delete or archive emails from that person, then click Create filter.

And in Outlook:

• Click the gear icon, then select More mail settings.
• On the Outlook Options page, choose Customizing Hotmail, and then Rules for sorting new messages.
• Click New, and then enter the name of the sender you want to filter
• Choose the action you’d like to happen (like deleting the email), then hit Save.

Sometimes I think people give out my email address on purpose. How many times have you signed up for a promotional newsletter at a store, dreading the mountain of messages you were about to get for the rest of your life? Why not give out my email instead, so I’m the one getting news about the latest podcast release from somebody’s friend’s brother. You can add these spam senders to your filter, or just scroll to the bottom of the email and unsubscribe.

Eventually, my journey with elaborate responses concluded in the only way it could: by piling on even more ridiculousness. From one of my favorite persistent emailers, I received a baffling message:

Subject line: Quien eres?

Is your real name, Martha Stewart? Or should we call you "Edna"?

Since you are NOT a. retiree we just assumed that you might be some former superintendants, "alter ego"since your email address is inextricably linked to his email address! Luv to you!

I couldn’t tell if he thought my messages were just his friend being a goof, or if he simply wanted to beat me at my own game. Either way, I applauded his commitment to our back and forth. It turns out I wasn’t the only person seeking a little more whimsical revenge in my life.

In the end, I had to admit that by initiating these over-the-top responses, I had inadvertently sparked something special. For one moment in time (or rather, several moments), my life became entangled with a stranger’s. We never would have connected otherwise, had it not been for a quick spelling mistake in addressing an email. Although it can be annoying to receive mail meant for someone else, these glimpses into their lives and personalities were a sort of gift. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to inform a vision clinic in Wyoming that it’s not my birthday.