The belief that spectres and evil spirits can invade a body and take agency over a person’s actions has been found in almost every culture throughout human history. Stories of crazed lunatics performing supernatural acts like climbing up walls and shampooing a buffalo are abundant, but most can be dismissed as undiagnosed psychiatric conditions that release stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which can cause abnormal feats of hysterical strength, like when a terrified mother lifts a bus off the ground to save her Kenny Chesney CDs, or when my uncle Leonard inexplicably ran onto the track and won the Belmont Stakes.
There are, however, rare instances in which medical science and psychiatric treatments are not enough, and the subject may require spiritual intervention. One must look no further than scripture, to the Gospel of Mark, which describes Jesus’ time in the Gerasene region where he cast a legion of demons out of a man using only a mackerel and a bazooka. The Pharisees accused Jesus of being in league with Satan because of his ability to command demons so easily, to which Jesus replied, “I’m the best aroundeth, nothing’s gonna ever keep me downeth.” Then he got on his donkey, gave the deniers yeast infections, and rode back to Nazareth giggling and asking his Apostles if they saw what he did back there.
The Gospel of Mark introduced and shaped the modern view of exorcism and how it should be handled, and, by the third century A.D., it was a regular practice. Common traits like left-handedness, half-man-half-goatedness, and saying things like “That’s a spicy meatball!” were believed to be the work of the Devil, and exorcism became a lucrative business.
The Protestant Reformation was a watershed moment for the exorcism industry. Martin Luther ordered that exorcisms be performed at every baptism to help the child reject the presence of the Devil throughout their lifetime. Originally, he demanded that the rite be performed prenatally, but the idea quickly alienated him from even the most radical Protestant gynecologists. Some argued that the level of mercury found in mackerel was too dangerous, while others claimed that bazookas could have long-lasting effects on both the mother and child. And Martin Luther, who prided himself on being not just a man of God but also a man of science, trusted the opinions of his appointed obstetricians.
As the years went by and Puritanism spread to the New World, the general public considered the idea of exorcism more of a superstition than a legitimate ritual. They dismissed the practice as barbaric and favored more modern treatments such as execution and screwing holes into people’s heads. It wasn’t until the bizarre case of Merriweather Cranstock shook the town of Milford, Connecticut, that exorcism came back into the public eye.
In 1892, a known atheist and haberdasher named Merriweather Cranstock had been behaving very strangely—wearing socks on his hands, pretending he was a caribou, whistling the “Free Bird” solo backward, real fucked-up shit. A service was held at the Hope Eternal Church where seven priests took turns chasing him around the altar and tickling him in front of the entire congregation. When the service concluded, Cranstock’s hands were unshackled and he flawlessly whistled the “Free Bird” solo from beginning to end. He dropped to his knees, weeping, and praised.
As we entered into the twentieth century, exorcism once again faded into obscurity. It wasn’t until William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel “The Exorcist” and its subsequent 1973 film adaptation reintroduced the idea of demonic possession that a whole generation of kids couldn’t wait to be possessed by Satan. Franchises like Burger King and Wendy’s released limited-edition holy waters and tiny plastic crucifix toys in their kid’s meals and the Vatican started its controversial S.A.C.R.E.D. (Spiritual Apprentices Conditioned for Rigorous Exorcism Duties) program designed to groom youngsters to be future exorcists. The program lasted until November of 2017, when Pope Francis (an avid gamer) eliminated the program in favor of the Vatican’s official e-sports league.
The history of exorcism is and has always been a fascinating reflection of the psychological impact that the fear of the unknown has on human beings. The preoccupation we have with the supernatural and the idea of good versus evil continues to fuel our imaginations, reminding us that this ancient ritual is still alive in our collective consciousness and film franchises. ♦
