I met Coach Thayer at Coaches Timeout in Naples, FL. Coaches Time Out is essentially a marriage retreat for coaches and their spouses put on by the Fellowship of Christian Athletes or FCA. I had the privilege of interviewing Coach Aaron Thayer. It was such an interesting conversation and one I will remember for a long time. He is the girls’ soccer coach for Barron Collier High School in Naples, FL, and loves the Lord and FCA. Here is Coach Thayer’s story.
Q: “So, the first question I want to ask is, how did you get into coaching girls’ soccer?”
A: “I'll do my best to make it short. I got into coaching girls’ soccer, actually shortly after I got out of high school. I was asked to come on as an assistant coach, and I came on and worked for two and a half years.
After that, I coached boys for a while but missed coaching, girls. I missed that aspect simply because of, the way that they play team ball and the way that, they listen.
So, after that, I went back to coaching some girls’ club leagues here and there. And then, I started back coaching in Collier County a couple of years ago, when I, coached the girls’ team at Pine Ridge Middle School, where I was teaching at the time. And then this last year I took over as the head coach at Baron Collier High School.”
Q: “So, I know you talked a little bit at Coaches Time Out and I guess you were homeschooled. I was homeschooled as well. Just tell me a little bit about that. What was your experience like?”
A: “I grew up in Lake Placid, Florida, a really small town here. And so we got together with other homeschoolers in the area once a week. But otherwise, it was pretty much me just doing my work at home. I didn't go anywhere else, for classes or anything like that. Everything was done at home.
Luckily, in my 10th-grade year, Governor Bush, I believe it was at the time, signed the law that homeschooled students could participate in high school sports. I'd been playing soccer my whole life. I just was never able to play in the high school team.
But finally, I was able to do it in my 10th-grade year. My main friend group was through my church. I was very active in my youth group, so, in my junior year, I started going out and, actually teaching some morning sessions at FCA at our high school.
I would go in now and then and lead the groups because I was a leader in our youth group. It eventually led to me later on in life becoming a youth pastor. I was active, and that's where I had my main friend group, so, while, my high school and, and middle school career was, different. Probably more than most people's and even different than most homeschool students today. I still wouldn't trade it for anything because I still was able to get a lot done.
I was able to work a job, I was able to play sports, had a good friend group. And I think I turned out all right. Not too weird.”
Q: “I want to ask you what's your favorite Bible verse and how do you apply it to coaching?”
A: “So, my favorite Bible verse is Romans 8:38. ‘I'm convinced that nothing can ever separate us from the love of God.’ One of my philosophies in coaching is, to make sure that my players always understand, how much I love them as a player, and as a person, and how much I care about their development and who they become.
As a young lady, I tell them that whenever I'm coaching, and they'll hear it, sometimes I'm out there yelling, but I'm never screaming at them and I'm never angry. I'm always trying to correct them and they understand that when I'm coaching them it's because I want them to achieve greatness.
And I know they can do better and I'm always trying to push them to that. But at the same time, I always let them know that no matter what happens, whether we win or lose. As long as they're giving it their all and enjoying it, at the end of the day, I'm still gonna love them. We're still gonna have a great time and they're still gonna grow as a player. And, we're gonna develop a family atmosphere on the field and in the locker room.”
Q: “So what has God been teaching you, in your coaching?”
A: “A few things. I think first off, this weekend at CTO was quite eye-opening and it was a good refresher. Because one of the things he's reminding me of is that, I need to make sure that I have to win at home before I win on the field.
This first year that I took on the coaching position, was a change for everybody. Change at school, and change for my players because I coached differently from the last coach, and then it changed for my family. And it took up a lot more time than I thought it would and a lot more time than I told my wife it would, and she was not pleased.
While it was difficult, she was gracious. Sometimes, I wouldn’t sugarcoat it, she was a little, rigid on the edges. When I would tell her, sweetheart, I'll be home at five and then it's 6:30 pm. And she'd say, ‘Where are you at?’
I’d say, I had to do this and this. But it was a reminder to me though, and going through this whole weekend that my wife started to support me, but I need to communicate. And I need to make sure that I'm making my family more of a priority than I am, with soccer. And, sometimes when I get excited, I, put myself out there and I give too much of myself to my soccer players, my youth, or my students.
It's God teaching me that I need to make sure I'm giving more of myself to my family and more of myself to him than I am to my players. Because in doing that, I know that I'm filled up more and I know that I will have the ability to be a better coach. That was one of the biggest things.
And then the second thing is just to continue to be humble. I try my absolute best, especially when winning, I try not to be prideful or arrogant. I've never liked players or coaches that act like that, and I've always tried not to be that way. I think that’s one of the best examples that we can set as a coach is to humble and graceful.
Graceful, both when you're winning and losing. It was a good lesson, for me because most, I think most of the year, for the most part, I was. I was pretty gracious and, pretty humble, and my coaches saw that and we worked together as a team. And, I even included them just in our district here.
I was voted, soccer Coach of the Year and I told them, when I won the award I said, that's great and all, but we work together as a team. And so just a constant reminder from God every day that. It's everyone around me and that it's not me and that it's God's working through me and it's, he's the reason that I'm able to succeed.
And it's making sure that I never lose sight of that because, he's the one who's given me the ability to do this, and I just have to make sure that I stay humble and, and be gracious to him.”
Q: “I was gonna ask you what was your experience like at CTO, but I think you already answered that.”
A: “It was good. I can toss in one other thing from my wife's perspective. She actually, asked me, ‘So what do you think about having your players over for dinner this year?’ Because, in the program, the players had, for the past several years, just because of where our high school is.
It’s nice that she now wants to be involved a little bit more and wants to get to know my girls. So, that was one other thing that came out of CTO that was cool.”
Q: “I was going to ask, what are your impressions of FCA? But it sounds like you, you kind of do both. Do you do FCA and coaching?”
A: “So the first year, I, said, Barron, this was my first year at Barron Collier. I was not able to get down to very many FCA meetings this year at, Barron, because I'm still trying to adapt to my schedule and coaching. But I've been active, with FCA in the past, with FCA at the middle school that I taught at last. And then also, as I said, growing up I was very active in FCA.
I went every week, even though I wasn't a part of the school, I knew the principal and he let me come in on campus so that way I could attend. So, I love the ministry of FCA. All of the materials they give, what they encourage students to do, and what they encourage coaches to do as well. I love FCA and I love the program they have.”
Q: “You were the first-year head coach. So what has that, what has that been like? Is this your first ever coaching or is it just your first year at Collier?”
A: “I was head coach, at the middle school team I was at for two years. Then there were a couple of other club programs about 15 years ago, so it's been a while since I was, head coach of those teams.
But, it was a great first year at Barron. As I mentioned, it was, coaching changed there. The other coach stepped down. I came in as a first-year teacher there they knew my soccer experience and I was able to come in. It was a lot of fun. I felt supported.
It was a lot of fun building relationships with the girls. We've got a lot of talent, returning, so it was great, to build a relationship and start to get them excited and prepared for this upcoming season. And it was, it was a good year. We built a really good staff. We have some great people, staff that, have faith backgrounds, some stronger than others, but, all in all, we're in alignment.
We do prayers. We talk about our faith openly, to what we're allowed to. Unfortunately, in public schools, we can only do so much. But being on the field I'm allowed to share. I get as open as I possibly can. I'm sure I toe the line, but, you know, when it comes to sharing my faith, I don't care. I want to share.”
A: "And I tell them I'm over there yelling at you. Understand, I don't get angry. I just want you to make sure that you're doing it right because I know that you can be, you know, you can be better. And they all know that. I never want to yell or be that coach that screams at their players and, and makes it not fun.”
Q: “I think I know the answer to this, but what is your favorite sport and why?”
A: “It would, definitely be soccer. I think the reason I love soccer so much, and I mean, it’s for many reasons, I played since I was five, right? I played for about 35 years. I stopped when I was 40 to start coaching. But, I think for me, the reason why I love it so much is not only is it so much fun to play, but I think it's just a beautiful game.
There are so many different players and they have so many different strengths. And, when they learn how to play as a team, and one of them knows how to use their head well. One of them is good at crossing the ball or kicking it in the air and you see crossing someone, heading it into the goal.
Yeah, it's beautiful and it's amazing to see what people can do. I love being able to bring out the best in the athletes because when they do that, and when they put it all together, they see the bigger picture and it's, it's cool. So it's also a lot of fun to coach. So I think that's probably one of the reasons I love it so much.”
Q: “Who do you look up to the most?”
A: “Well personally, my dad, he, was a very strong example of faith. He always showed us what it was like to be a good father, a good husband, and someone who has a strong relationship with Christ and does his daily devotions every day.
He taught me the importance of, even all the small things, praying before meals, being polite, and everything like that. I ended up asking him to be the best man in my wedding just because, he's done so much in my life and been such, a huge part of who I am and who I've become.
Still to this day, you know, just all the stuff he did to raise four kids and, and work on his own and run his own business and be able to provide for us was, was something to look up to. So, he's my role model. And then I guess for me, I'm a role model to, my sons, my players.
And then, as I mentioned before, I'm a youth pastor in town here at a local church. And, I'm a role model to my students in the youth group as well. I even consider myself a role model for my students in the classroom. I just go about that mindset because I wanna make sure that at all times, I'm doing things that not only glorify God but, also are things that other students and other people do.”
Q: “Wow. You kind of talked about it, but how does your faith impact your coaching?”
A: “I think for me, I, think it's helped, for me to have perspective on, um, what the most important part of coaching soccer is. And that's to love our players, develop them, and let them know that they are worth it.
So much more than just their talent and so much more than just the games. And, let them know that, win or lose, they're winners, that they are incredible young ladies. I think sometimes, and I think that's a big message of the gospel, sometimes that gets lost today, is that people think that they've messed up, they've done this wrong, they've done this wrong, and, and therefore they just, they're not worth anything, or they're not loved, or I'm too far gone.
The church isn’t gonna want me. I can't do this. And so I think trying to remind them that God's love is for everybody and that we all mess up, and that we all mess up again and again, but that if we continue to come back to Christ, then, we continue to, have a heart that seeks to, to change and, and do our best.
And, to enter into that relationship with Christ that no matter what happens at the end of the day, as long as we're doing our best for him and, and giving him our all, he's gonna love us. And that's what I want my players to know. And so I take that message of the gospel and I try and show them, uh, the love that I experienced from Christ.
And then hopefully from there they see that and it opens up conversations so that way I can openly share my faith, get to know what's going on with them in their life, and, try and make a positive impact. And hopefully, at the end of the day, lead them to Christ or give them an opportunity to ask questions. So that way hopefully they'll get there someday if they're not already there.”
Q: “Last question. And then you can, if you have anything else you wanna share, can you give a brief testimony of how you came to Christ and how that has impacted your life and coaching?”
A: “I first gave my life to Christ when I was eight years old. I was at a vacation bible school and, we did a lesson on John 3:16 and God's everlasting love for us. And, I had a cool message taught, and a lot of people did too, a lot of younger people today may not know what these are, but I, learned on a green felt board, and it was a stand-at-the-felt board with these little characters that they'd put on you.
And I, still remember the lesson, but, I knew my parents were going to that church for a reason. I saw them bring their Bibles and, ask questions. A lot of questions were, it was something that I was supposed to do, but it was at that moment that I realized, you know what, this is something that I want to do, that I want to be a part of.
So that's when I gave my life to Christ. By no means have I been the perfect Christian. I don't think there's such a thing as a perfect Christian. I've done my absolute best, and fallen short many times.
But, the one thing I've come to know in my faith walk as I learned more about Christ and continue to grow in my relationship with him, is that without him, I'd be in a lot worse place. I've got this wonderful relationship and I know some people look at it as a responsibility, but I look at it as a gift that I can share with others.
I love knowing that, I can always walk in and, and talk to people and have an opportunity to share my faith, that God has done so many great things in my life, and that if they're going through something, hopefully, I get an opportunity to share with them and make a difference in their life.
And, that's kind of how I took it into coaching. Coaching is just that, I need to make sure that I'm always loving on my players and that I remind them that no matter what happens, um, they're always gonna be involved by me. That I'm not gonna hold a grudge, I'm not gonna hold anything over them.
And, that they can do, a lot in life. And that I just wanna bring out the best of them. I feel blessed to be able to do that.”
Q: “Nice. So I don't know if you have any other thoughts or anything else you want to share?”
A: “The biggest thing I would just say, if I was gonna lead with a closing remark, would just be that we spend a lot of our lives sometimes trying to measure up to certain things. Whether that's what teachers think we should be as students or possibly what our parents think we should be, or what society thinks we should be.
I think it's amazing that God understands we fall short of his glory, but that through Christ we have an opportunity to have that relationship. That we don't have to try and fit into, you know, society's views or, you know, fit into other people's views of who they think we should be.
And that everyone is their individual. In Christ, we're all new creations and we all have an opportunity to, shine and do amazing things in life, whether that be on the field or off the field. And that it all starts with that relationship with God and we gotta make sure that he's number one. And if God is number one in our life, the rest will fall into place.”
If you would like to donate to FCA please follow the link below:
https://my.fca.org?form=zachevans