Oh, just one more thing. Manchester City’s last nine results in all competitions are: 4-1, 3-0, 2-0, 1-0, 7-0, 6-0, 4-1, 4-1, 3-0.
Goals for: 34. Goals against: 3.
Arsenal, Real Madrid, Chelsea, Sheffield United, whoever else might get in their way: godspeed.
City have had some heartbreaking and/or inexplicable defeats in this competition, so they won’t be counting any semi-final chickens, but to the neutral this tie looks over. Thanks for your company and emails – I’ll leave you with David Hytner’s match report from the Etihad. Goodnight!
“This City side reminds me of Dundee United’s Scottish Premier League winners of 1982-83,” says Simon McMahon. “With Haaland as Davie Dodds. No higher compliment can be paid.”
“Might have been a mid-Sommer night’s dream for the Bayern goalkeeper were it not for the nightmarish defending of his team mates,” says Colum Fordham. “Bayern have been well and truly outclassed. Nice, from an England perspective, to see Grealish and Stones playing so well.”
It feels like Stones has been really good – perhaps even world-class, though I still don’t really know what that means – for a while now. In fact, I feel a bit guilty about all those old Fivers celebrating his rococo defending.
It was tight for most of the game, with two quality teams separated by Rodri’s extravagant curler, but City overwhelmed Bayern in the final quarter. Erling Haaland made the second for Bernardo Silva and scored the third himself.
That really was a terrific performance from City, and not just in attack: Ruben Dias was immense, the rest of the back four not far behind, and Ederson made a big save to deny Leroy Sane at 1-0. City only had 46 per cent of the possession, in fact.
Manchester City have multiple toes in the semi-final after a stirring win over Bayern Munich.
90+2 min Here’s the big man’s 948th goal of the season.
45TH GOAL OF THE SEASON 🤪
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 11, 2023
Erling Haaland puts one foot in the #UCL semi-finals for Man City 🙌 pic.twitter.com/pMeD8Poo9t
90+1 min Cancelo is being booed every time he touches the ball. Meanwhile, Coman’s cross is headed away well by Stones at the far post.
90 min Three minutes of added time. Bayern surely need a goal now to have any chance next week.
90 min “Wow, how quickly a situation can change!” says Jamie O’Sullivan. “De Bruyne going down looked like it could be a bad injury for a moment (echoes of Michael Owen in 2006). But how well has it worked out for them – Bayern are absolutely flummoxed by that wall of four attackers City now have in front of them every time Sommer and Upamecano get the ball. This is as good as I’ve ever seen City look, and it’s bloody ominous.”
I wouldn’t necessarily go that far, but they have been seriously good in the past 20 minutes.
89 min Grealish, using Pavard as a screen, curls over from the edge of the area.
88 min Pavard is booked for a late tackle on Grealish, which leads to a brief row between Kimmich and Grealish. Not sure why: it was a blatant yellow card.
87 min: Great save by Sommer! Alvarez’s outswnging corner is met by Rodri, 12 yards out, and his powerful header is pushed over two-handed by the flying Rodri. That’s a very good save, high to his left.
86 min Upamecano overhits a backpass so badly that it goes behind for a corner. Bayern have been a shambles in defence.
85 min Remember when John Stones was a banter footballer? It feels a long time ago. Our baby is all growns up now, a world-class defender/occasional midfielder.
84 min Kimmich, in the centre circle, clips a really dangerous straight pass towards Sane. For a second it looks like Sane is through on goal, but Stones does superbly to get between him and the ball and usher it through to Ederson.
83 min “Bet Guardiola was pleased Norway weren’t at the World Cup finals!” writes Stephen Bradfield.
82 min Alvarez, who is a disgustingly good player to have in reserve, receives a pass from Grealish and whips a marvellous curling shot towards goal from 25 yards. It beats Sommer, diving to his right, and goes this far wide.
80 min: Double substitution for Bayern Joao Cancelo and Thomas Muller replace Serge Gnabry and Alphonso Davies. There are loud boos, and I don’t think they’re for Thomas Muller. I’ve never heard a loan player get a reception like that.
80 min Erling Haaland, mes que un goalscoring freak.
Bernardo Silva's bullet header puts Man City in firm control against Bayern Munich 💥#UCL pic.twitter.com/6LytZCUEWU
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 11, 2023
79 min Bayern have fallen apart. Akanji surges down the right and lifts a cross shot that is pushed away by the diving Sommer.
78 min Gnabry moves dangerously into the area and tries to twist past Dias, who makes a beautifully judged tackle. He’s been majestic tonight.
It came from a corner on the right, with the ball only half cleared by Bayern. Alvarez swung a deep, left-footed cross that was headed superbly back across goal by Stones and volleyed expertly into the net by Haaland. City are flying!
Erling Haaland may have put City in the semi-finals – already!
75 min After another game of pinball in the Bayern area, Alvarez slides a low shot across goal that is crucially pushed out by the sprawling Sommer, with Davies completing the clearancee Bayern were certain a defender, Pavard I think, was fouled by Gundogan and almost stopped playing.
73 min Alvarez’s bouncing cross is missed by both Haaland and Stones in the middle. Bayern are hanging on here.
72 min The nervous Upamecano gives the ball away again, this time to Haaland on the edge of the area, but gets away with it thanks to a couple of desperate challenges.
Grealish, a defensive revelation these days, robbed Upamecano 25 yards from goal and then released Haaland on the left side of the area with a lovely backheel. Haaland shaped to shoot but then stood up a beautiful cross towards the unmarked Bernardo at the far post. He ran onto the ball and powered a header through Sommer. That’s a fine goal!
Pep Guardiola didn’t pick Bernardo Silva ahead of Riyad Mahrez for his ability to score headers, but he’ll take this all night!
70 min: Bayern substitution Sadio Mane replaces Jamal Musiala.
69 min Coman’s cross from the right is just too high for the leaping Pavard, who can only help it on and wide of the far post.
68 min: City substitution Julian Alvarez replaces Kevin De Bruyne, who walks straight past Pep Guardiola with a face like thunder. I’m not sure whether that’s because he knows he’s got a problem or whether he’s in a huff at being taken off. He was taken off in Madrid last year as well.
68 min Would this be a better result for City or Bayern? I can’t decide.
67 min De Bruyne goes down a second time, again feeling his right ankle, though he’s on his feet pretty quickly.
66 min Sane’s corner is headed away at the near post by De Bruyne.
66 min Kimmich’s very deep corner is punched behind for another by Ederson, with De Ligt arriving round the back.
65 min De Bruyne is back on. That didn’t look great on the replay, a possible ligament injury, but he seems okay.
64 min De Bruyne does well to keep a ball in play, but his leg gets caught as he slips off the field. He’s in a lot of pain. Rodri puts the ball out so he can receive treatment – but as he was off the field, Bayern are okay to play on.
64 min Kimmich’s long-range drive is blocked by Dias.
63 min “City quickly finding out Yann Sommer’s Achilles heel: Yann Sommer,” says Justin Madson. “For whatever reason Bayern’s defence plays as if it’s still Manuel Neuer in goal. I have nothing but respect for Yann Sommer but playing out from the back does not suit him. Upemecano needs to give him a break.”
62 min And now it’s City who are having a really good spell. The second half has been tremendously entertaining, and the first didn’t exactly stink the competition out either.
60 min Bernardo somehow nicks the ball off Davies in the Bayern area, a marvellous bit of persistence near the byline. Then he pokes the ball back to Stones, whose shot flies across the area and well wide.
59 min “Leroy Sane’s bullet corners are a real throwback to those Andy Hinchcliffe near-post howitzers from 25 years ago,” says Pádraig McAuliffe. “Incredibly hard to defend.”
That’s a good comparison, and it’s a shame Bayern don’t have the modern-day Duncan Ferguson in their team. He’ll be in action for Reading against Burnley on Saturday.
57 min: Another chance for City! De Bruyne takes the corner short, gets it back and then lifts a ball into Dias, ten yards out. He chests it down and flicks a volley that is pushed over by the stretching Sommer. Good save.
Two things on that: Dias looked slightly offside, and he was also being pulled back by Goretzka as he hit the volley.
57 min A nice backheel from Grealish finds the overlapping Ake, who spanks a first-time drive that is pushed round the near post by Sommer. This is wonderful stuff.
55 min: Vital block by Ake! Sane bullets a right-wing corner to the far post, where De Light loses Bernardo and thumps a header that is blocked unwittingly by his international teammate Ake. I think that was going on. Ake knew the square root of bugger all about it, but it hit his head and looped across the area. The follow up was headed away by Dias, though I suspect Ederson would have saved that. Not so sure about the first one.
54 min Pavard’s cross deflects off Grealish and loops onto the roof of the net with Ederson scrambling. Bayern have been terrific since half-time.
53 min Another whipped long-range shot from Sane is punched away by Ederson, falling to his right. That was a relatively comfortable save – better than his first just after half-time but not in the same class as the second.
52 min “I was disappointed by a certain Bayern manager’s sacking because I wanted to see him against Pep,” says Yash Gupta. “With all due respect to Tuchel, he had Pep’s number in the last month of the 2021 season but since then he has underwhelmed every single time, and the same will happen again. In an alternate reality Julian Nagelsmann wears pajamas in the Manchester rain and sets the world alight.”
Now we’re getting to the heart of the matter.
50 min: Great block by Kimmich! Another minor farce in the Bayern area, sparked by a misunderstanding between Sommer and Upamecano. Eventually Sommer, under pressure from Gundogan, gives the ball straight to Haaland on the edge of the area. Haaland returns it with interest and Kimmich throws himself in front of the shot to make a superb block.
49 min Davies is booked for a foul on De Bruyne.
49 min: Brilliant save by Ederson! That was a sensational bit of goalkeeping. Musiala had space to turn on the halfway line and thread a pass between Stones and Akanji for Sane. He charged into the area and hammered a low drive across goal that was brilliantly stopped by Ederson, low to his left, and Ake desperately completed the clearance.
47 min Bernardo is booked for a cynical foul on Musiala. He caught him down the back of the achilles, in fact, but Musiala didn’t make anything of it.
46 min Ederson is called into action after 43 seconds. Sane pings a sweet long-range strike that wobbles awkwardly and is punched away by Ederson. Actually, replays show he didn’t punch it – he made an unorthodox save his left bicep.
46 min Peep peep! City get the second half under way. We saw a few replays of Rodri’s goal at half-time; it wasn’t quite in the top corner, as I thought at the time, though it was still a lovely strike and such a memorable moment.
Half-time reading
Tonight’s game is admirable in its own way, but we all know there’s a cigar with Carlo’s name on it on the night of 10 June.