Once in a lifetime, a movie comes along that defines an entire generation... or at least your group of friends. For me, it was The Lost Boys. I know I'm dating myself here, since the movie was released a mind-boggling 35 years ago. I was a pre-teen, and the combination of Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Jason Patric and four sexy vampires led by Kiefer Sutherland was sort of an awakening for me.
I hadn't seen anything like The Lost Boys, and come to think of it, I haven't seen anything like it since. From the first glimpse of Kiefer Sutherland's smirky presence, walking in slow-motion through a busy carousel on the boardwalk, you know it's going to be badass. Cue the first vampire attack, which is from the flying vampires' perspective far above, rather than the victim's. You don't actually see anything happen to the security guard running through the parking lot. He just gets snatched, taking his car door with him. It's one of the cool things about this movie — you don't know for sure that it's vampires yet. You don't see any bodies with teeth marks in their necks, or drained of blood. They just vanish.
And then, we're back to a sunny California morning, with two teenage boys, Sam (Haim) and Michael (Patric), arriving in Santa Carla with their recently divorced mom, Lucy (Dianne Wiest). As they pass the town's welcome sign, Michael notices the words "Murder Capital of the World" graffitied on the back. Cue Echo & the Bunnymen's cover of "People Are Strange," played over scenes of one weird California beach town. I was hooked. To this day, I can still quote the movie from start to finish, having watched it so many times. In fact, my friends and I quote it on an almost daily basis. And who can forget the guy in a loin cloth and chains playing a saxophone? It was the '80s, that's the only way to explain it.
The basic story is this. Sam and Michael are forced to live with Lucy's kooky dad (Barnard Hughes), who, when asked if Santa Carla really is the murder capital of the world, replies, "If all the dead people in town were to stand up at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem." Grandad is also into some freakish taxidermy, which will come into play later, of course. While Sam befriends two weirdo brothers that work at their parents' comic book store, Edgar (Feldman) and Allen (Jamison Newlander) Frog, Michael meets up with David (Sutherland) and Co., who turn out to be the world's coolest vampires. Meanwhile, Lucy gets a job at a video store, working with a man named Max (the always brilliant Edward Hermann), who, as we find out in the final showdown scene, is actually the head vampire.
This is more than just your average vampire flick. The Frog Brothers get all their vampire information from an unlikely source — comic books, such as "Vampires Everywhere," which they give Sam upon their first meeting. "It could save your life," Edgar tells him. These vampires have long hair, ride motorcycles (when not flying high above Santa Carla), wear gypsy-like denim and leather, live in an oceanside cave, and they don't necessarily bite their victims on the neck. Their victims also aren't scantily clad women for once. In one memorable scene, the vamps attack a group of bikers at a bonfire, and David bites into a bald head like it's a juicy apple. In retrospect, it seems like the skull would get in the way of the blood sucking, but it is an indelible image. No glittering vampires here, y'all.
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There's a lot of buildup to actually seeing the vampires show their fangs and glowing eyes. In fact, you don't see them in full-on vampire mode until about 40 minutes into the movie. Can't think of many vampire movies where you don't see the vampires in all their glory until more than halfway through.
Of course, David wants to bring Michael into the fold. And to do that, he uses some pretty memorable imagery, making Michael believe that Chinese food like fried rice is maggots and lo mein noodles are worms. "They're only noodles, Michael." After this display, David taunts Michael, saying he won't drink from what looks like a bottle of wine. The girl who's caught Michael's eye, Star (Jami Gertz), tells Michael that it's blood, but he scoffs, "Yeah, sure," and downs it anyway. Peer pressure can be a bitch. And so, after drinking the blood, Michael is a half-vampire.
This conversion is also unique in that Michael begins to realize he's turning when he sleeps all day and then can't stomach milk. Sam starts to suspect that Michael might be turning when Sam's dog Nynuk attacks Michael, protecting him, and then Michael's reflection in the mirror is ghostly. "You're a creature of the night, Michael!" Sam exclaims, running away from his brother. "You're a vampire, Michael. My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire! You wait til Mom finds out, buddy!" (Told you I could quote it.)
As if the dog attack and reflection weren't enough, Michael then wakes up to find himself floating to the ceiling of his room. Unable to control his flight, he floats outside and then past Sam's window, causing him to appropriately freak out. According to the Frog Brothers, the best way for Sam to protect himself — other than killing Michael, of course — is to wear "a garlic T-shirt." It's these sage words of advice that make the Frog Brothers so lovable.
The Frog Brothers and Sam's suspicions about Max set up one of the best scenes of the movie — the dinner scene with Lucy, Max, Sam, Edgar and Allen. The lengths the youngsters go to in order to prove that Max is the head vampire are nothing short of hilarious. Of the probably 100 times I've watched The Lost Boys, I always laugh out loud when the lights go out and then turn back on to see a mirror reflecting a close-up of Max's face. To try to prove that he's a vampire, they also give him garlic instead of Parmesan cheese, which he loads onto his spaghetti, and pour holy water into his lap. Poor Max has quite an experience during that dinner. But because Michael invited him into the house, none of the usual vampire tricks work on him. Who knew? Not the Frog Brothers, though they'd deny that.
Deciding that Max isn't the head vampire, they head to the cave the next day, where they plan to stake the vampires while they're sleeping. Of course, things don't go as planned. But another cool thing about these vampires is that they're hanging upside-down from the roof of the cave, like bats, rather than in coffins. It's such an unexpected sight, and once again, one of the aspects of this movie that blew my mind as a pre-teen. Besides, the vamps' motto of "sleep all day, party all night" kind of appealed to me, too.
In preparation for the final showdown, Sam and the Frog Brothers stock up on not only wooden stakes, but water guns filled with holy water, a bathtub filled with holy water and garlic, and a bow and arrow. This leads to some pretty unique death scenes, from one of the vampires (Brook McCarter) being basically melted in the garlic and holy water bathtub, to another (Billy Wirth) essentially suffering "death by stereo" after getting nailed with an arrow through the chest and flying backward into a stereo. Then there's David's glorious death, impaled by a set of elk antlers in Grandpa's taxidermy workshop. And, of course, after Max is revealed to be the head vampire, Grandpa appears out of nowhere, launching a huge fence post at Max, which sends him into a fireplace where he bursts into flame. Of course, these aren't the most realistic ways for a vampire to die, but they're bloody entertaining (pun intended). And this unique look at the genre is part of what makes The Lost Boys so freaking great.
When I saw this movie, I was at the age where all of these details made a huge impression on me. From then on, I judge every vampire movie against The Lost Boys. And of course, none of them can compare to the style, humor, wit and just general fabulousness that this movie is.
It is 1980s cinema at its best, not to be taken too seriously, but greatly entertaining to say the least. It's a classic that's still enjoyable today, even with dated effects and dialogue. And, one of the best last lines of a movie ever, from Grandpa: "One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach: all the damned vampires."