It is important to clarify that taking out Istikhārah for marriage is not obligatory; it is permissible but not a ritual requirement. Our scholars advise that Istikhārah should be utilized in marriage decisions when genuine uncertainty and confusion exist.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُالْغُيُوبِ ، فَإِنْ رَأَيْتَ أَنَّ فِي فُلَانَةِ خَيْرَاً لِي فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَايَ وَآخِرَتِي فَاقْدُرْهَا لِي وَإِنْ كَانَ غَيْرُهَا خَيْرٌ مِنْهَا لِي فِي دِينِي وَآخِرَتِي فَاقْدُرْهَا لِي
"O Allah, You have power (control) and I have no control and You know and I do not know, and You know the condition of the Unseen. Thus if You see (deem fit) that this woman (here mention her name) is good for me concerning my Deen, world, and Akhirah then grant me her control (make it possible that I marry her) and if besides her there be (another woman) which is better for me concerning Deen and Akhirah then specify her for me (grant me control over he)".
(Hisn)
Regrettably, there is a misconception among some individuals that Istikhārah is a mandatory pre-marital practice. This misconception has led to the unnecessary disruption of potentially good marriages. It is crucial to understand that Istikhārah is a tool for seeking divine guidance in situations where one is genuinely unsure about proceeding.
If a couple is content, believes they are compatible, and wishes to move forward with marriage, there is no obligation to perform Istikhārah solely because it has been a tradition. It is essential to differentiate between cultural practices and the actual need for Istikhārah in individual situations.
Conversely, if someone strongly feels that a potential spouse is not a suitable option and that person would not make a good life partner, there is no requirement to perform Istikhārah to confirm this intuition. In such cases, relying on trust in Allah and making decisions based on rational thinking and consultation with others is encouraged.
In summary, Istikhārah should be embraced as a tool for seeking divine guidance in marriage decisions when genuine uncertainty exists. It is not a mandatory step that should be blindly followed, and decisions can be made based on rational thinking and consultation when clarity is present.