Going Blue
He knows I would die for him
You know I would die for you.
I would let you strangle me –
all those guitar strings of your thoughts
wrapped around my neck
leaving their telltale marks
like paper cuts from book pages we’ve read
but couldn’t finish
I would let you strangle me
if that would help you breathe
silently hoping
you’d notice the pain in my eyes
(which I’m closing)
and help me
You know I would die for you
breathless
while you’re desperately tearing
the stitches
one after another
and I keep fixing them –
the first followed by…
the first again
And I’m silently hoping
you’d notice the pain in my voice
(when I’m not speaking)
but I can’t tell you to stop
‘cause when the pain is here
it means
you’re here with me
And finally
my trembling fingers cannot find
the needle anymore
to make the first stitch for the thousandth time –
I heard it tinkle somewhere
at our feet
and the sterile thread of green
strangulates
my veins –
I’m going blue
and you’re holding me
oh, you’re holding me
and I’m going blue
You know I would die for you.
April 2021
