Whether you play for fun or a livelihood, golf is never easy.
Never might it have been so tricky for Brandon Matthews, who was set up to make an eight-foot putt to stay alive in a playoff with Ricardo Celia in the Argentina Open. At stake was not only a victory but a shot at a slot in The (British) Open, one of professional golf's hallowed majors and a chance at the big-time for a journeyman 25-year old golfer named Brandon Matthews. Just as Matthews took his stroke, a man shouted in the gallery—the equivalent of yelling fire in a theater. Matthews missed, saying he pushed his putt, possibly distracted by the noise.
So, you might be thinking, who cares? Golfers miss putts, noise or no noise.
Well, as reported by Brian Wacker in Golf Digest, it turns out a middle-aged man with Downs Syndrome made the shout. Matthews insisted on meeting the man, and when he did, he hugged him and signed a golf glove and chatted with him. Matthews said later, "I wanted to make sure he didn't feel bad about the situation." Matthews, whose mother managed group homes for Goodwill, said, "I grew up around people with special needs because of what my Mom did when I was a kid, and I have a soft spot in my heart [for people with special needs].”
Matthews does not minimize nor overdramatize, knowing he might have blown a shot at The Open. "It's going to sting, and there are times where I'm going to think about it. But at the end of the day, I'm 25 years old and have a long career in front of me."
How easy would it have been for him to curse and rage against the gods, or simply say nothing and sulk? While I don't know Matthews, I would like to think that what he displayed on the course epitomizes all that golf is supposed to be. It is a game of skill, and Matthews proved that he could play on the big stage and be in contention. It is also a game of integrity, the only sport where players call penalties on themselves.
Acting with grace
And yes, Matthews exemplified what it means to act with integrity. And he did something more. Matthews responded with grace, the spirit of good within us that enables us to reach out and connect with others. Note Matthews said he didn't want the man who had shouted to feel bad, and Matthews acted when he could have been feeling, and with justification, pretty down himself.
What Brandon Matthews reminds me—and you can call me naïve—is that there is more good around us than bad. It merely is that the bad makes headlines or worse it permeates our social media so that we feel we are drowning in a toxic stew of name-calling. Grace, then, becomes our salvation.
Grace, as tradition holds, is given to us with no strings attached. Grace is the catalyst, the well-spring of goodness, that propels us to do better for others. Acting with grace is selfless, which means you put the needs of another ahead of your own. You think not of yourself but others. Grace also reveals itself when we need it most, such as when we are wronged. And when that happens, we have a choice lash out or think better. Lashing out is normal, maybe even expected, but seeking to find something better takes real strength.
What you can do instead is change the narrative. Instead of thinking what went wrong, think about doing better. That is, put aside thoughts of revenge in favor of committing an act of kindness. Don’t get even; make things better for others, and maybe yourself. Grace is a living force that abides all around us. All we have to do is look for it.
For Brandon Matthews, here’s what my friend Jerry suggests. Ask the R&A, the golf organization in Britain that runs The Open, to make one of the 144 slots available in 2020 for him. Matthews has earned the right to play because he exemplifies the best of what the game has to offer: skill, integrity, and grace.
Fore!