My mom would have been 102 on Sunday. Last year on her 101st birthday she said, “Enough already; I don’t want any more birthdays!”
She got her wish two months later.
Now, almost a year later, it’s time to complete the Jewish tradition of The Unveiling — a brief ceremony where the newly set headstone is revealed to family and friends for the first time. For that to happen, I had to get one.
So I celebrated her birthday this week shopping for my final gift to my mother. And as always, shopping for her wasn’t easy. “Picky” is not too harsh a judgment of her requirements.
Unlike buying her shoes that could be returned, selecting her headstone was a bit daunting. So as I was going through the process in the display room, I had a silent one-way chat with Mom to make sure I got it right.
“I think you’ll like this type face, Mom. It’s not too fancy and it’s easy to read. Before you ask, yes, it is large enough that older eyes can read it easily. I know. Plain borders. Fancy ones are just not you. Don’t get too schmaltzy with the wording. Yes, Mom, I remember: And no pictures!”
I have to admit I struggled with that one because I love the photo of her at her 100th birthday celebration. She was wearing her black and white outfit, the one she called her uniform, and looked happier than I ever remember seeing her.
Surrounded by children, grandchildren and nieces and nephews who had come in from all over the country, she smiled and said, “This is the best party I’ve ever had. Everyone I love is here.”
We will all remember that. No picture required.
I think that the peak of joy from that party is why her overarching request for these end of life traditions was, “Don’t make a fuss, Patty.”
The Unveiling will be a simple ceremony, immediate family and the Rabbi, just as she requested.
So, Mom, I hope these words aren’t too schmaltzy: “Loving Wife, Mother, Granny and Aunt.”
Happy birthday.
Email Patricia Bunin at patriciabunin@sbcglobal.net. Follow her on Twitter @PatriciaBunin.
