I hate line cutters.
Nothing triggers me at a theme park as badly as someone jumping the line does. Make me listen to the “Small World” theme song all day. Force me to eat microwaved chicken nuggets. Heck, stick me in a two-hour line for Dumbo in the sun. I won’t care so long as the people in front of me got into the line before me.
Yet every time I go to Disneyland, or any theme park, I see someone trying to cut a line. And every time it bothers me, even after all these years of visiting, working in and writing about theme parks.
Yes, waiting in line stinks. But a queue might be the most democratic form of deciding who gets to ride what in a park that’s overcrowded with more people than rides and shows to accommodate them. It’s first come, first served.
Don’t think the ride is worth the wait? Fine. Move on to something else. But do not cheat the system by concocting some excuse to jump in front of me and anyone else who played by the rules of the queue. Come on, no one really believes that you are catching up to the rest of your group ahead, so stop it all ready.
Confession time: I’ve fantasized about vengeance. Maybe I should take a photo of line cutters and tweet it with the hashtag “#LineCutter.” Maybe if enough of us did that, it would shame at least a few of the cheaters into keeping their place in line and not shoving ahead. If we tagged the parks, too, that might shame them to assign more employees to patrol their queues for cheaters.
With my luck, though, I’d post a photo of the dad who really did just have to take his child to the restroom to clean up after an embarrassing accident. So forget about becoming online queue vigilantes. But is there a better way to bring some justice back to the act of waiting in line for a theme park attraction?
In an ideal system there would be no physical way to cut a line. Theme park lines would be like a deli counter. You would be assigned a number when you entered a line and then be admitted when your number was called. If your number is higher than the one being served, tough luck. Wait your turn.
Some of you might already see where I am going with this. If everyone has a number, there’s no need for anyone to actually stand around in a queue, not when a smartphone app or text message could tell you when it’s time to ride. That means people can go off and do whatever else they want while waiting. Get some chicken nuggets. Take a bathroom break. Wander around and sing the Small World theme to yourself, over and over and over again.
In Florida, Disney and Universal are trying this type of waiting system. At Walt Disney World, instead of waiting in a line for Dumbo, they give you a restaurant-style pager then send you and the kids to pass the time at an adjacent indoor playground. Disney’s new “Avatar” land will have a restaurant where you can order online, then be told when to come pick up your food.
Universal Orlando’s new water park, Volcano Bay, won’t have any traditional, standing lines. Instead, you will “take a number” by tapping a park-provided wristband at each ride’s entrance. The wristband will then alert you when it is time to ride.
It’s like Disney’s Fastpass, but with no stand-by lines. Walk on to an empty ride until there’s no more room, then everyone else “gets a number” to come back. You can hold a number for only one attraction at a time, so you can’t hog spaces on all the rides from people who get to the park later. There’s no juggling a Fastpass return with a standby queue – everyone’s waiting in the same order.
And, best of all, there’s no line cutting.
Now that’s a system I’d be willing to stand in line for.
