I don't need to tell you that 2016 was Not All That Great. But before you all go and write off the entire year, let's take a collective moment to count our blessings. Particularly, the blessings that involve sweet, sweet male objectification. Bad years come and go, but a photo of a perky bulge — plastered all over the internet — is forever.
Justin Bieber's fake dick pic scandal
So it wasn't Bieb's Bulge™, but for a few moments, the world thought that it was, and let us remember that time before it was revealed to just be Photoshop.
Nick Jonas at the VMAs
Oh, come on, he knew what he was doing when he chose to wear those pants. Former Disney Channel celebs don't just make silly mistakes like this.
Jon Snow's bulge made a comeback
I don't watch Game of Thrones so I don't know who Jon Snow is, but 2016 is the year I became very acquainted with a certain part of him (his bulge).
Just the entire Rio Olympics
A blessing that only comes (😉) but once every four years...
We don't deserve this, honestly
Oh no! Double trouble!
I love America!
God bless it!
Look at this beautiful form!
OK, last one I swear.
The Game... did... this
On Valentine's Day, the Game treated the entire world to what seems to be his version of erotic fiction, told exclusively through a series of hashtags, and illustrated with a not-so-subtle bulge selfie.
When The Rock slapped his bulge
Why can't all awards shows be like the MTV Movie Awards?
The dream-crushing bulge
Let this stand as a moment of bulge sabotage. This poor Olympic pole vaulter's shot at a gold medal was destroyed because his bulge couldn't contain itself.
And of course, the gray sweatpants challenge
Even if they aren't real bulges, the men of the gray sweatpants challenge deserve a spot on this list. This particular image, tweeted with the caption, "Lookin real horny," belongs in the MoMA.
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