'Scream Queens' Season 2 Recap: Meet Colton Haynes's Character, Tyler

After months of excitement and anticipation, Scream Queens finally returned last week with the premiere of season 2. And just one episode in, we found ourselves freaking out over a brand new villain (‘sup, Green Devil) and crushing on a few new characters (heyyyy, Drs. Cascade and Holt). Needless to say, waiting a full week for a new episode was pretty difficult. Let’s get right to it.

The episode begins with a crime scene. A police officer is questioning Chanel #5 about the events of the evening and it’s clear that no one believes her story about the Green Devil. Chanels #1 and #3 come in and accuse of #5 of murdering the Werewolf Girl because she was jealous of their dates with Cassidy and Brock. Eventually, the police leave with the promise of gathering more evidence.

The next day, we see the team with a new patient named Tyler (played by Colton Haynes!), who has painful growths all over his body. The Chanels are quick to ask mean questions — will they ever learn not to bully?

Dr. Holt says that there’s a special laser machine that could shrink Tyler’s sores, but the machine is incredibly expensive. Tyler begs them to try, adding that the growths are ruining his life.

Later, Zayday is walking down the hall when Munsch asks her if she knows of any New Guinean restaurants in the area. Zayday’s like, “WTH, random much?” and she goes to find Chamberlain. The two of them talk about how Munsch has been acting strangely lately. Zayday thinks it’s odd that she would start a hospital just to cure obscure diseases, and she theorizes that Munsch is really out for revenge and wants to kill the Chanels one by one.

That night, Dr. Holt and Chanel are on their “May/December date” at the movies. Holt gets a little handsy with her (no pun intended) but Chanel doesn’t seem to mind. However, things get a little weird when he puts his arm around her again and he suddenly snatches a fistful of Twizzlers from the guy in the row behind them. Remember, we learned in the premiere that Holt had been the recipient of a hand transplant. Is it possible that his new hand has a “mind” of its own?!

The next day, Chanel #5 is spending time with Tyler. They talk to one another about their love lives.

Chanel #5: I thought things would be different in college. But I still can’t get a date.

Tyler: You think you’ve got it bad? I look like I’m wrapped in infected bubble wrap.

Tyler shows #5 an Instagram photo of what he used to look like before the growths appeared, and Chanel #5 immediately decides that she’s going to raise the money for the laser in hopes that Tyler would date her out of gratitude.

That night, Chanel is in the hospital lobby alone when she hears screaming. She goes to investigate...and the Red Devil appears! OMG! Chanel starts screaming (naturally) and we’re convinced that she might actually get killed, when suddenly the Red Devil reaches up to remove his mask...and it’s CHAD. Chaaaaaaaaad!

Apparently, Chad is at the hospital with his friend Randall, who has been diagnosed with Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Disease – a rare disorder characterized by an exaggerated startle reflex. The doctors demonstrate Randall’s symptoms by clicking a pen in his face, which results in him screaming hysterically. Randall is worried about dying from screaming, and Munsch assures him that he came to the right place.

Meanwhile, Chanel #5 is busy making a fundraiser video in the hopes of raising money to purchase the laser for Tyler. The video is super dramatic and set to Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You,” just like those animal shelter videos that destroy your soul. The other Chanels tell #5 that the video is terrible and that she should start dating Tyler now so that he’ll still want to date her after his surgery. Poor #5!

While that’s happening, Zayday and Chamberlain are researching the history of the hospital. In an effort to impress Zayday, Chamberlain goes totally old school and comes prepared with microfiche slides from the library. They soon discover that the entire staff of the hospital was killed in 1986 – one year after the Halloween party that began the season in last week’s premiere. In a flashback, we see the same characters from the ‘85 scene at another party. The Green Devil shows up and kills everyone, including Dr. Mike. As the Green Devil exits, he leaves a trail of neon footprints behind him. Zayday realizes the connection to the story that #5 told about Werewolf Girl’s murder.

The next day, Holt is taking a shower in the locker room (yes, again) when Chad enters. The two of them start arguing over Chanel, and Chad eventually gets in the shower stall with Holt while they try to out-bro each other. Eventually, Chad challenges Holt to a squash game to decide on who wins Chanel’s affection, and Holt accepts because asking Chanel to just pick would be silly.

Later, #5 is with Tyler at a diner. Tyler tells her that he writes Encyclopedia Brown fanfiction, which is, like, totally adorable, and they are flirting, and it is endlessly cute. Suddenly, two guys walk by their table and start making fun of Tyler’s medical condition. #5 completely loses her mind and smashes a plate over each of their heads. She eventually comes out of her rage spiral and sits down to tell Tyler that she “tends to overreact” a little bit. Understatement.

Zayday and Chamberlain decide to confront Munsch about what they discovered from the microfiche slides. Zayday tells Munsch that she thinks there’s a connection between the ‘86 murders and what happened to Werewolf Girl, and then she accuses Munsch of being involved. In turn, Munsch confesses that she opened the hospital to try to save her own life, after a mysterious disease caused her to have blistering headaches, joint pain, shivers, and an unusual gait. Munsch is convinced that she is going to die, and wanted to open the hospital to cure herself. As she and Zayday hug it out, we see a creepy figure at the door. Is Munsch telling the truth?!

Later, Munsch is walking alone in the halls of the hospital when she hears a noise. Suddenly, the Green Devil comes out of nowhere. Munsch and the Green Devil duke it out, and she demonstrates some serious martial arts skills. She’s about to unmask the villain when Dr. Cascade and #3 come in and the Green Devil disappears. Munsch now knows that #5 was telling the truth about what happened during her bath last week.

The next day, Chad and Holt check on Randall before their squash game. Chad notices that as Holt speaks to him, his hand is writing on a notepad absentmindedly – almost as if Holt wasn’t even aware that it was happening. Chad sneaks a peek at the words on the paper – it looks like a menu or a grocery list. Weeeeiiiiird.

Chad and Holt proceed to have their squash game, and it intensifies pretty quickly.

Chad: I’m about to become a doctor too, so watch out.

Holt: Uh….you realize it takes years, right?

Chad: …….

Holt eventually loses his temper during the game and tells Chad that he needs to back off and leave Chanel alone. Holt threatens that his hand is capable of a lot more than just playing squash.

Meanwhile, back in Munsch’s office, she’s called in Denise for backup. Denise explains that she learned a lot at Quantico Academy...and also from the movie Quantico...and the hit TV series Quantico “now in its thrilling second season.” Denise suggests that they “get into the mind of a serial killer.” OMG ARE THEY GOING TO–

YES! THEY ARE! Munsch, Denise, and the Chanels go to visit Hester in prison. Hester is locked up in the basement of what looks like a cave, and her prison walls are plastered with drawings of knives. She seems to know a lot about the Green Devil, right down to the detail about the neon slime. She promises to give them information in exchange for a room at the hospital (!!!) and a collection of high-end beauty products.

Chanel: That’s impossible!!!!!!!

#3: Yeah. Those products were discontinued like ten years ago.

Hester: Well, you’ll have to go on Craigslist and look for an estate sale, won’t you?

#Priorities.

Later, Chanel #5 and Tyler are heading back to the hospital from a date and they share a kiss on the steps outside the lobby. All of a sudden, a burst of confetti appears around them, and the other Chanels appear from the shadows. It seems that Chanel is congratulating #5 for passing the test and finding beauty within, but it turns out she’s talking to Tyler about #5. Ouuuuuch, burn. Chanel reveals that she’s going to buy Tyler the laser, using money from Chad.

Speaking of Chad, he’s busy meeting with a private investigator to get information about Holt. It turns out that Holt received his hand transplant from a star squash player who was also a serial killer. Incidentally, the last meal that the killer had before he was arrested was the exact menu that Holt had been subconsciously writing. Chad figures out that Holt’s hand is still psychologically tied to its original owner, and he heads right back to the hospital to confront him about it. He barges in while Holt is in the middle of experimental surgery on a dead body and tells him that he knows everything about his hand transplant. The Chad/Holt feud lives on.

Meanwhile, Zayday is pondering Munsch’s symptoms when she suddenly remembers Munsch asking her about New Guinean restaurants earlier. A light bulb goes off in her head and she races to Munsch’s office with Chamberlain. Zayday theorizes that Munsch has contracted kuru, a deadly disease that spread within one Papua New Guinea tribe where cannibalism was present. It turns out that Munsch had visited Papua New Guinea and attended a funeral ritual where she ate human brains. Zayday explains that there is no cure for kuru, and Munsch begs her to keep this between them. Unfortunately — and of course — her office is bugged, and we suddenly cut to Hoffel, listening into their conversation.

As the episode nears its end, Chanel #5 and Tyler are FaceTiming before bed. Tyler refers to himself as #5’s boyfriend (!!) but is suddenly pulled away from the conversation when he’s told that he’ll be having surgery tonight. #5 asks the other Chanels if they knew anything about Tyler getting his surgery early.

#3: There’s no way that’s happening. Brock and Cassidy are having a handsome contest tonight.

The Chanels put two and two together and race towards the hospital...but it is too late. The Green Devil has already killed Tyler (noooooooo) and Chanel’s chance at one true love is officially blown to pieces. First Brangelina, and now this? Our hearts can’t take it.

Top Scream-Worthy Moments From Tonight’s Episode:

1. That scary flashback with the zillion stabbings.

__2. __ That moment when we literally thought Chanel might be killed by the Red Devil. Again.

__3. __ HESTER! (But okay that was a good scream.)

__4. __ Tyler getting lasered with no anesthesia. RIP forever, Tyler.

Related: 6 Ways To Dress as the Scream Queens Cast For Halloween

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