ARUKAINO UMUKORO writes about the custody battle between a Nigerian mother and her estranged French partner over their son
On a day (February 14) when the world celebrates Valentine’s Day and people express their love to loved ones, Miss. Mitchelle Nwakalor can only embrace her distress and forced solitude.
She does not know the whereabouts of her estranged partner, French national, Mr. Frank Reymann, and the young love of her life, her six-year-old son, Xavier Theo Reymann.
Nwakalor’s story is a case of love gone sour, with young Xavier in the eye of the storm.
Although she and Reymann were not legally married, they cohabited for years, between 2004 and 2011. In 2009, in the twilight of a love affair gone sour, Xavier was born in France.
His mother fondly calls him the ‘Classic Man,’ the title of a globally acclaimed hit track by Nigerian-American music star, Jidenna.
Sadly, there is nothing classic about his parents’ yet-to-be-resolved battle over him.
A disconsolate Nwakalor told SUNDAY PUNCH how she has been battling Reymann for the custody of their son, Xavier.
She said, “I was living in London, and had come over to Nigeria on holiday, when I met him. Then he used to visit me in UK while I visited him in France. Then I moved to Malabo, Equatorial Guinea with him. I started having issues with him when I became pregnant with Xavier.
“He became abusive; we were fighting and quarelling a lot. That was when I realised this was not working and I decided to leave the relationship. He later seized my son’s passport. Xavier was three years old then and the father had insisted on travelling with him to France but I had refused. So, I reported him to the National Human Rights Commission in Abuja. Subsequently, it was agreed that Xavier would spend weekdays with me and weekends with him. In December, 2011, we both signed an undertaking and he promised he would bring Xavier back and also return his passport. When he came back, he did not, so I went back to NHRC.”
A copy of the letter of undertaking, which was made available to our correspondent, and was signed on December 21, 2011, stated that the father could travel with the child (Xavier) to his home country France for Xmas and New Year holiday(s) and return the child back to the mother on January 3, 2012.
The undertaking also stated that Reymann should return with the child’s passport.
Nwakalor stated that her estranged French partner had ignored or flouted several undertakings and sometimes taken Xavier away for long periods without her consent. She also claimed he made threats against her.
“At a time he took Xavier to the company in Abuja, where he used to work. That was the end. He stopped me from seeing my son for four months in 2013. When I drove to the company, the security men stopped me from seeing my son. They told me to move my car or they would shoot me. While this was happening, he was driving in. The car almost literally tried to run me down and I ran out. I cried and wrote to the Ministry or Foreign Affairs. Till today, I have not heard from them. After a while, after putting pressure on him, I got my son back, I have had my son with me since 2014 until he was taken away from me recently.”
It happened last Wednesday, February 3, at the school Xavier attended in Abuja.
Nwakalor recalled: “I got an urgent call from my son’s school because Xavier’s father had come with some policemen; he claimed he had been granted full unconditional custody. The school waited for me to get there. I went there with a lawyer. From there, we went to the High court building in Maitama, but, despite our protests, the man there said we had to hand over the child. That was how they took my son from me. The court claimed they served me but I did not see any notice.”
The court order, dated January 27, 2016, was signed by Hon. Justice S.B. Belgore.
Nwakalor said all efforts to get her son back this time had proved abortive. She said, “I don’t even know whether he is still in Nigeria as he roams his line. There was a time he told me I can’t fight him in Nigeria, because the person with the most money wins. I feel the system has failed me because that is exactly what he has just proved. He can’t do that in his country. He just wants to take Xavier and leave; he is the only child of his parents I think.”
The mother claimed that her estranged partner had ‘abducted’ their son by keeping her in the dark about his condition or his whereabouts.
She said, “I just want justice to be served. I believe every child deserves the love of the mother and the father. I am scared that he would take my child out of the country and I would not see him again. I’m sorry, but he does not deserve to have my child. When I changed Xavier’s school and asked him to contribute half of the fees, he refused. I had begged him to remember he had a son and be the father in his life, but he ignored me. Throughout the time, he never contributed to my son’s upkeep; I have been doing it on my own. I don’t know what example he wants to set for my son.”
When contacted on the telephone on Friday, Reymann claimed Nwakalor had been served the court order.
“Please, there is no custody issue. There is a court order. She was served three times minimum in June, 2014. I was there with the court messenger and registered my file in the court in April 2014. She threw the paper away and then we served her in her house on the door. My son is very fine, he is very happy. I don’t have any message for her. She was invited to court, she didn’t come. Anyway, if you have more questions, you call my lawyer.”
He declined to tell our correspondent his current location.
At the time of this report, emails sent to the French Embassy and the Federal Ministry of Foreign Affairs had yet to be replied.
Also when contacted, the NHRC said they would get back to our correspondent on their findings.
An Abuja-based lawyer, Mr. Teddy Okundaye, who was called into the matter on the day Xavier was taken, told SUNDAY PUNCH, “I have obtained the two copies of the processes leading up to the court order. I verified from the file that the order actually came from the High Court. From what I saw, that action was instituted in 2014 and she said she wasn’t aware. An order was obtained from the judge, which he gave for them to paste the hearing notices in front of her former house. That is what they swore to. She said she did not know anything about that.
“Most importantly, the order was got without her representation in court. We have proceeded to have the court set the custody order aside for a lack of sincere hearing on her part. We also want the NHRC to give us a status or interim report where they have adjudicated to, because they too were surprised that the man went to get a court order.”
“I am not going to apportion blame at the moment. In fairness, if the man was being honest, they ought to have served this woman all the processes leading up to that order being given, because I am very sure the judge would not have given that order if my client was represented. The welfare of the child is paramount. If the child is young, it is the inclination of the court to hand over custody to the mother. In all jurisdictions, in the event of a separation, a young child belongs to the mum, unless one can prove cruelty or negligence or that the mum is unfit.”
According to Article 9 of the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child, “States Parties shall ensure that a child shall not be separated from his or her parents against their will, except when competent authorities subject to judicial review determine, in accordance with applicable law and procedures, that such separation is necessary for the best interests of the child. Such determination may be necessary in a particular case such as one involving abuse or neglect of the child by the parents, or one where the parents are living separately and a decision must be made as to the child’s place of residence.”
It also stated thus, “All interested parties shall be given an opportunity to participate in the proceedings and make their views known,” while “States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child’s best interests.”
An Abuja-based women rights activist, Miss Dorothy Njemanze, said cases like Nwakalor’s were common in the country. “There are several cases like this where foreigners get the upper hand in Nigeria. If the NHRC had been decisive, we would not be talking about the fact that the boy has been taken away again.”
Similarly, a child rights activist, Mrs. Helen Oshikoya, said, “Under normal circumstances, all parties should be heard. But one does not know what really happened for the court not to have protected her rights; I can’t speak for the judge. But both parties should have been there to at least state their own case.”
A former chairman, Nigerian Bar Association, Ikeja branch, Mr. Monday Ubani, told SUNDAY PUNCH that the court should be absolved of any blame as it had acted on the information it was given at the time.
He said, “That is why she (Nwakalor) has to go back to the court and give them the correct information; and give reasons why the court shouldn’t have given him custody. Then she can ask the court to set aside that particular judgment. And the court can reverse its order.
“Where the child was born is not the issue that would determine what the court would do; it is the utmost interest of the child. If the interest of the child would be protected by the father, he would get custody; if by the mother, then she would get custody. That particular judgment can be set aside if she can prove that it was obtained under fraud or misrepresentation of facts.”
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