1. Go play Kim Kardashian Hollywood for a minute. If you're both just making irrational argument after irrational argument, take a break and do something mindless for a couple minutes. You'll have a whole new perspective after staring at cartoon Kim Kardashian for a bit. You might even realize it was a dumb fight anyway.
2. Explain your partner's argument back to them. It sounds weird, but just try to articulate their argument. Maybe you're totally misunderstanding them. Or maybe they're a big, stupid idiot and this fight will go on forever and ever until you die. (JK, you'll figure it out, I swear. Probably.)
3. Flip for it. This is a good one for when you both (for some reason) feel really strongly about what color the bathroom towels should be; perhaps it's best to leave it up to fate. Heads, blue, tails, cream, call it.
4. Find a third option you both don't hate. Maybe if you both stopped for a second, you'd both find that sandstone is your second-favorite choice for those bath towels. If one of you can't have your first choice, maybe you can both have your second (also, stop fighting about towels).
5. Take a break to bone. I'm not talking putting all your fights off in exchange for sex and never resolving shit, but it's really hard to be mad at someone after you've both orgasmed.
6. Decide whether or not you really care about this argument, and if you don't, just give in. Why are you annoyed? Because they had their first night out with friends in six months while you were stuck home alone? Because they forgot to replace the toilet paper roll? Maybe not worth it.
7. Get your partner to laugh. Reference an inside joke or do something that you know gets them every time. Laughing when you've been mad feels like peeing when you've been holding it for an hour.
8. Have the rest of your argument while hugging. Continue arguing as you slowly but authoritatively wrap your arms around them. Hug them and remind them how much you love each other. See how long they can keep yelling at you when they're being snuggled.
9. Go for a walk together. You might still be arguing, but at least you're in a public place where you can't get irrationally angry and start screaming at each other. Powerwalk it out.
10. Make a delicious snack for both of you. Are you angry or hangry? No one can be mad while eating grilled cheese. It's science.
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