So, you’ve seen Marvel Studios’ Guardians of the Galaxy (now in theaters) maybe three, four, times now, but you can’t take off work for a “doctor’s appointment” any more lest your employer become suspicious you’re just sneaking off to the movie theater instead. How, then, are you supposed to capture the magic of Guardians in your everyday life, the bit of spark that keeps you from calling Bill from accounting a turd blossom? Hot Toys and Sideshow Collectibles have just the thing to keep the doldrums at bay with their announcement of the release of their 1/6 scale Guardians of the Galaxy figures, based on the characters from the feature film.

The Guardians announced for pre-order thus far are Star-Lord, Gamora, Rocket & Groot, Rocket (by his lonesome) and Groot (also by his lonesome). It’s expected that Drax will also eventually be available for purchase to complete the motley crew. The figures themselves are beautiful and detailed with crazy precision—almost creepily so. The figures look uncomfortably real, as if their eyes can pierce you and suss out the detritus of your life. Like that time that you had money to give that panhandler on the corner, but you chose to drive on. Or that time you went to your buddy’s house for a dinner party and clogged up the toilet and you didn’t tell anyone. You just left it. Star-Lord knows. Star-Lord can see all.

Sideshow gives you the skinny on their website for each of the Hot Toys Guardians of the Galaxy figures.

 

Star-Lord

The movie-accurate Star-Lord collectible figure is specially crafted based on the image of Chris Pratt as Star-Lord. Featuring a newly developed head sculpt, an interchangeable LED light-up masked head sculpt, highly detailed costume, weapons and accessories.

Gamora

The movie-accurate Gamora sixth scale figure is specially crafted based on the image of Zoe Saldana as Gamora in the movie, featuring the newly developed head sculpt, a highly detailed costume, weapons and accessories. 

Rocket & Groot

The movie-accurate Rocket Collectible Figure is specially crafted based on his unique physique in the film. It features a finely sculpted head and body, specially tailored costume, weapon, and specially designed figure stand. 

The movie-accurate Groot Collectible Figure features a highly detailed head and body with amazing paint application to reflect his distinctive appearance, and a specially designed figure stand. 

The Rocket and Groot Collectible Set will exclusively include a 1/6th scale Potted Groot, an additional interchangeable angry expression face and a pair of partially clenched angry palms for Groot.

Rocket

Marvel Studios takes fans to the cosmos in the action packed space adventure – with a group of two thugs, an outlaw, an assassin and a maniac! Since the movie’s first introduction, Rocket has been a breakout character, wanted on over 50 charges of vehicular theft and escape from lock up. The movie-accurate Rocket collectible figure is specially crafted based on his unique physique in the film featuring a finely sculpted head and body, with a specially tailored costume and weapon.

Groot

One of the unique members of the team is Groot, who has a tree-like appearance and monstrous strength. The movie-accurate Groot collectible figure features a highly detailed head and body with remarkable paint application to reflect his distinctive appearance, and a specially designed figure stand. 

 

The figures, of course, are fully articulated and hyper-realistic, as collectors have come to expect from products coming out of the Hong Kong-based Hot Toys. These aren’t Bob the Goon action figures from the 1989 Batman toyline: The Guardians figures look like they have been pulled right off the movie screen and shrunk down for public consumption. From the flowing hair used for Gamora to the LED lights that make Star-Lord’s helmet come to life, the craftsmanship that went into crafting and sculpting the Guardians is uncanny. Each figure also comes with multiple accoutrements appropriate for their unique character with interchangeable hands to hold them, including Star-Lord’s heel blasters, Gamora’s knives, and Rocket’s ginormous guns.  Hot Toys’ Guardians figures will ensure you rest easy knowing that your home’s safety is in capable hands.

The Groot & Rocket combo even comes with a miniature potted Groot sprout. Shut up and take my money, Hot Toys!

However, if you want these Guardians figures, you’ll have to wait before they can serve to fill the black hole-sized longing in your life. They don’t hit the streets for sale until the Spring of 2015.