X Factor 2012: six things you need to know about the new series

Simon Cowell's pap-pop juggernaut is heading for your living room again. The X Factor is back on Saturday night in search of huge advertising spends and the next big thing in pop music.

As of this weekend, and for the next billion weeks, Cowell's crack team of pop adjudicators will slowly, tantalisingly whittle down a swarm of wannabe Britneys and Kanyes until they have found the dozen or so finalists needed to pad out the primetime hours between now and Christmas. But there's change afoot.

Clearly not believers in the "If it ain't broke..." adage, producers have shaken up the format ever so slightly to include some new elements:

1. Auditionees can now sing their own material and even play instruments

Up until now, The X Factor didn't like to egg on the gifted all-rounder, instead preferring the hopefuls to leave their ukuleles and harmonicas at home. It was all about their voice after all. What need had they of distracting harpsichords? They've now obviously cottoned on to the fact that those guitar-playing types do quite well in the charts too. Cowell probably saw Ed Sheeran on TV and had an epiphany. So from now on, expect the odd one-man band dotted among the straining teens, emotionally purging themselves to a backing track.

2. The final will be in Manchester and boot camp in Liverpool

Now the BBC has lugged big chunks of itself up north, The X Factor circus has decided to follow suit. It's for the people after all, not just them snotty Londoners. After last year's huge, brash, terrifically hyped live final at Wembley, this year's will be held at Manchester Central Exhibition Megadrome. Meanwhile, the judges are already having to practice their new catchphrase, "You're through to Liverpool!" as that's where candidates who get through the first round will be sent to undergo the now traditional boot camp stage. Cue establishing shots of the Liver Building, the docks and scores of locals roaring Ferry 'Cross the Mersey at the crane-mounted camera as it whooshes past their heads.

3. The Overs category will raise its lower age limit from 25 to 28

The overs (the hill) category – oh come on, in pop terms you're drawing your pension by the time you're past 26 – will now be slightly more mature, differentiating them from the other categories which usually burst and bulge with the vigorously youthful. This is actually quite a good idea because it'll give Louis Walsh some people nearer his own age to talk to. Not that Louis has much to say to anyone apart from that they've earned their place on the show and he hopes Scotland/Ireland/Wales/the Midlands etc are calling in to vote for them tonight. He probably says that to his milkman.

4. Nicole Scherzinger takes her place as fully fledged judge

She may not've passed muster with the US execs who ditched her after series one of Cowell's Fox version of the show, but Scherzinger's guest turn on the UK panel last year went down very well indeed, so she's back as a permanent judge. Mostly so the papers can decide who will win the raging "fashion war" they'll spuriously decide she's having with Tulisa. Even though it'll just be two women, wearing dresses like they have to to avoid being starkers.

5. Tulisa Contostavlos returns a blonde

The former N-Dubz singer returns this year with a huge golden blow-dry, like Jason and his Argonauts leant her the fleece because her head was chilly. It symbolises her renewed lady power after that brilliant YouTube video she made, dissing the miscreant who sold her private business to the highest bidder.

6. Gary Barlow returns as national treasure

Following Barlow's courageous appearance at the London Olympics closing ceremony just days after suffering the worst kind of family tragedy, he gets the utter respect of the nation as he returns to the head judge's chair. He seems to be the only panellist with the necessary experience and talent to pass sentence on the contestants. You can tell his heart's in the right place in a way that you just couldn't with Cowell. No one can confirm that Cowell's actually got one.

So there you have it. It's the same big, noisy thing it always was but it's done something different with its hair. Will you be tuning in on Saturday night, helpless in the hypno-beam of Cowell's dollar-sign eyes? Or have you had quite enough, thank you?